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I'm so scared of myself…
My mind is terrifyingly dark
Churning with inner turmoil
Anger
Darkness

Everyone thinks I'm precious and loving
But I have such a different side
The side no one sees
This side is so terrified of messing up

She blows up easily
And will only end up breaking your heart

She is made of broken promises
Shattered dreams
Endless tears

She wears countless scars on her heart
Her spirit has shattered one to many times
She dwells in darkness
And wallows in sin

She'll make you hate her
So you'll stay away

The reality is
She doesn't want to hurt you
But can't tell you that
For she doesn't know how…
This is old but I'm letting out a lot.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconangeldog71502:
angeldog71502 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Student Artist
wow thats me 

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:iconiwasdared:
iwasdared Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011
wow! its me, you took the thought right out of my brain when i searched "dark side" wow... thank you!
Reply
:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2011
no problem I'm glad you liked it (:
Reply
:iconiwasdared:
iwasdared Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
loved it thanks XD
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:iconsilent72screamer:
Silent72Screamer Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2011
This is beautiful. I felt the emotion along with it for it reminds me of me.
Reply
:icontwilitkitsune:
TwilitKitsune Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Reminds me of me... Just make the person male.
Reply
:iconcicaprincessa:
cicaprincessa Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Student General Artist
it sounds like I wrote this myself. Thank you fro writing it.
Reply
:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
You're welcome! Thank you for the comment <3
Reply
:iconthe-left-out-penguin:
this just gave me so much courage in what im about to do :heart:
i love it, and thankyou :hug:
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:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
I'm glad! You're welcome! <3
Reply
:iconhideous-and-sexy:
Hideous-and-Sexy Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful and if this is the -old- version I would love to see what you could do with it now!
Reply
:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
Thank you so much! <3
Reply
:iconziggurat-8:
ziggurat-8 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
very beautiful hunny, nice work
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:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
Thanks! <3
Reply
:iconziggurat-8:
ziggurat-8 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
my pleasure love
Reply
:iconblucrimson:
blucrimson Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
An awesome read!:D
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:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
Thank you very much! <3
Reply
:iconblucrimson:
blucrimson Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2010
You're welcome!:D
Reply
:iconj-dare:
J-Dare Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
I have been the same... I used to hurt everything I touched because of this darker side of myself. It only grew stronger the more I locked it away. I only hated myself more the longer I hid this side from everyone else. Nothing could stop it, no one ever understood. It was this way for me until I finally found healing by accepting this darker side and even wanting it. I'm a Christian, so I apologize if my following words offend you, but I don't apologize for saying them... I believe God creates us completely as we are meant to be. We only have to grow, mature, and change in order to find out exactly what that is, but the journey is more than enjoyable and worth while. I believe we suffer most when we deny parts of ourselves, even if it's not the norm. (I'm not saying it's totally fine to be a psychopath or anything, but counter culture or just different is nothing to be ashamed of) Who wants to be part of a matched set? I will say this, I never found healing until I accepted that darker side, and even wanted it to be a part of me. I began to show others this new "me" that had this darker, edgier side, and those who could handle it, remained. The ones who didn't, I learned, weren't worth wanting in my life. My temperment mellowed somewhat, my rage cooled, and I looked in the mirror and saw myself for the first time in 16 years. Don't hate a part of yourself, so long as it's not immoral or completely wrong, you should embrace it, love it, and become whole. Just some food for thought. Beautiful writings.
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:icongodivagoddess33:
GodivaGoddess33 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Unfortunately, I understand your words all too well. I suppress my own darkness and fear what pain I may cause others, and you expressed this message well. I do believe you can make this better, though, too. Perhaps try looking in a thesaurus for some alternate words that will make this poem even stronger and more expressive. You could also try getting creative by rearranging the syntax.
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:iconqueen-neehola:
Queen-Neehola Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I can really relate to this. It's very emotional and deep, I love it.:heart:
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:iconsweetmahartasongbird:
i get what it says, i felt the same thing ages ago, not making it any less important, mind you, sorry u went thru that mate
Reply
:iconbriana-salvatore:
Briana-Salvatore Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
This discribes the other side of me that no one knows about. :(
Reply
:iconkallia-goldenwings:
kallia-goldenwings Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
hmmm we all have two sides we just have to learn how to control that second side the darkness let it have rain but not destroy our lives that is a very hard thing for any one to do.
Reply
:icond-blackblood-stone:
D-BlackBlood-Stone Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010   Writer
This reminds me of me..
Good job.
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:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
Thanks <3
Reply
:icond-blackblood-stone:
D-BlackBlood-Stone Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010   Writer
Your Welcome
Reply
:iconfangfire93:
fangfire93 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
Deep. Your darker side is like my Kaiser in a way. Its just a darker malevolent side of us that really means well in the end, but just needs help, you know? They want to be loved, and when they can't find it immediately, they get upset. When they get hurt, they retaliate, their attacks rarely breaking the surface. The darker side of us cannot be combated, cannot be gotten rid of. We must embrace it and respect it and love it so that it can become more of a part of us, realise that it is not alone in life.

Don't worry, you aren't alone in this, and there are plenty of people who want to help you any way they can.
Reply
:iconmisstress16:
misstress16 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
*hug her from beahind and whisper to hear era* then hurt me too becous i dont know how to live and you can teach me how to live, this poem represent it.
Reply
:iconrioiu:
rioIu Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
This... reminds me so much of me. ♥ This is wonderful.
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:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconheart-broke-romance:
Heart-Broke-Romance Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
this reminds me of me its really good
Reply
:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
Thanks <3
Reply
:iconheart-broke-romance:
Heart-Broke-Romance Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
:( imma cry!!!!! ((I'm so sorry that I'm dumping this on you)) My best buddy in the whole world is going to commit suicide unless we get him not to!!!
Reply
:iconpleasurelypainful:
PleasurelyPainful Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
D: I'm so sorry! I hope he's okay.
Reply
:iconheart-broke-romance:
Heart-Broke-Romance Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
I think he is he's above me in Indiana so I have no way of getting to him
Reply
:icontesiaxtoxic:
TesiaxToxic Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You have to tell somebody. He may be mad at you for it, but better him mad at you than dead.

Tell your parents, tell a school counselor, call the police, call some kind of hotline, get HIM to call a hotline. Just do something.

Not to be offensive, but in most cases people who want to kill themselves are either the victims of some kind of abuse or are suffering from a mental illness. In a sense, they really can't help it. It's up to the people that care about them to get help for them.

Tell somebody, don't let your friend become a statistic.
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